Ineptitude

Today I was looking around at old journals and I found the journal of someone I used to be friends with. Currently she is going to college and studying Chinese, among other things. I was frustrated, mostly at myself, because in high school she was lazy and didn't like to do her work or study, and yet here she is, in college and doing well, studying the things I want to study. I was the one who studied really hard and had big plans for college and my future, and I haven't even gone to college yet.

So, I decided that for sure I will go to Central this year, even if it means being separated from Ross for a little bit. We're semi-engaged right now, and talking about making it official later this year, and we can be separated for a few days a week, it's not that bad. I hate not being with him every day, but I really want to go to Central and if he has to work in Seattle, then he does. He might be able to find an internship in this city, though, and then we could still live together while I go to school and then move to Seattle eventually when I graduate, since I have to go to graduate school for Library Science at University of Washington, anyway. I'm going to try to finish my undergraduate degree as quickly as possible. I'm just going to take the classes I need, no extras, and I think that way I can maybe finish in three years. I've wasted enough time!

Tonight will be nice and quiet; everyone is going to Jason's birthday party and they might stop by here afterwards, but Brian and Marie will be there until late and then maybe Marie will stay here tonight. That would be nice, the more people the better. I get scared too easily, it's not even scared, really, just kind of uneasy at being the only person home. The city I live in is pretty nice and not too dangerous, but still. Kitty isn't much help, he just kind of lays around. I'm sure if someone did break in or something he would run and hide, or just sit there still. This is why I want a dog. At least it would bark to warn me, and possibly try and attack. Someday when Ross and I live in a house, I want to get a big dog, like an Akita, a husky/wolf mix, a Great Dane, or something like that, but as soon as we move to a different apartment I am going to get a small dog that can live in an apartment, like a Corgi or something. I really like dogs, I wish I could have one now but it's risky enough just having a cat here. Dogs have to go outside sometimes, and I would definitely get caught.

I am listening to Takahashi Hitomi's latest album, it isn't very good. The songs are okay to listen to but they aren't something I want to really listen to more than once. It's too bad, her first singles were really good and the first album had a lot of good songs on it, too. It seems like the more she releases, the worse it gets. None of it is actually bad, I'm sure there are people who like the type of music she sings, but it is different from how she started. I wish she had stuck to songs like that, a sort of pop-rock mix (I really like music but I'm bad at classifying it). There are only one or two songs on the album that I like enough to keep, but that's okay, some albums I listen to without keeping anything. I'm pretty picky.

I have lots of books to read, and I haven't played Tetris yet today. Since Ross is gone I can play all the Tetris I want, haha.