Ineptitude

Today I was looking around at old journals and I found the journal of someone I used to be friends with. Currently she is going to college and studying Chinese, among other things. I was frustrated, mostly at myself, because in high school she was lazy and didn't like to do her work or study, and yet here she is, in college and doing well, studying the things I want to study. I was the one who studied really hard and had big plans for college and my future, and I haven't even gone to college yet.

So, I decided that for sure I will go to Central this year, even if it means being separated from Ross for a little bit. We're semi-engaged right now, and talking about making it official later this year, and we can be separated for a few days a week, it's not that bad. I hate not being with him every day, but I really want to go to Central and if he has to work in Seattle, then he does. He might be able to find an internship in this city, though, and then we could still live together while I go to school and then move to Seattle eventually when I graduate, since I have to go to graduate school for Library Science at University of Washington, anyway. I'm going to try to finish my undergraduate degree as quickly as possible. I'm just going to take the classes I need, no extras, and I think that way I can maybe finish in three years. I've wasted enough time!

Tonight will be nice and quiet; everyone is going to Jason's birthday party and they might stop by here afterwards, but Brian and Marie will be there until late and then maybe Marie will stay here tonight. That would be nice, the more people the better. I get scared too easily, it's not even scared, really, just kind of uneasy at being the only person home. The city I live in is pretty nice and not too dangerous, but still. Kitty isn't much help, he just kind of lays around. I'm sure if someone did break in or something he would run and hide, or just sit there still. This is why I want a dog. At least it would bark to warn me, and possibly try and attack. Someday when Ross and I live in a house, I want to get a big dog, like an Akita, a husky/wolf mix, a Great Dane, or something like that, but as soon as we move to a different apartment I am going to get a small dog that can live in an apartment, like a Corgi or something. I really like dogs, I wish I could have one now but it's risky enough just having a cat here. Dogs have to go outside sometimes, and I would definitely get caught.

I am listening to Takahashi Hitomi's latest album, it isn't very good. The songs are okay to listen to but they aren't something I want to really listen to more than once. It's too bad, her first singles were really good and the first album had a lot of good songs on it, too. It seems like the more she releases, the worse it gets. None of it is actually bad, I'm sure there are people who like the type of music she sings, but it is different from how she started. I wish she had stuck to songs like that, a sort of pop-rock mix (I really like music but I'm bad at classifying it). There are only one or two songs on the album that I like enough to keep, but that's okay, some albums I listen to without keeping anything. I'm pretty picky.

I have lots of books to read, and I haven't played Tetris yet today. Since Ross is gone I can play all the Tetris I want, haha.

Fortitude

Today I left at noon to get all my errands done and I managed to get back right at one. That's one of my favorite things about this town, it's pretty small and I can get around town, even on my bike, really quickly. I love riding my bike, too, it's good exercise and it makes me remember good times when I was a kid, and when I lived in Japan, and rode everywhere on my bike. The only thing is that it gets pretty windy here so it can be hard to ride sometimes, especially since it's still a little chilly here.

Today I went to the Daily Record to get my check, kiosking pays pretty well, as long as I can sell the subscriptions, then took it to the bank and then I rode around looking for a store that I saw a while back with cute clothes in the window. When I found it I was pretty disappointed, though, it was super tiny and didn't have a lot of cute things there. So I left, and then I went to the library, but they were closed. I knew that, too, but I just forgot until I got there. I'll have to go tomorrow, I have some books on hold and I want to look at the YA fiction again. I don't know what it is, even though I'm 21 I still like to read YA novels. I seem to be able to still identify with teenagers though, even though I'm older. They just don't write the kind of books I like to read about adults, at least not most of the time. Then I went to Safeway, I had promised to bring kitty home a treat (although he probably didn't understand) but I felt bad about leaving him! So I got some giant, soft, delicious cheese bagels, and candy (the delicious sour Twizzler bites and the ones that have fruit filling) and then kitty treats and wet cat food. He usually eats dry food but sometimes as a treat I get him the little pouches. I didn't even notice that the treats I got were for tartar and plaque control, but it's good they are since I've noticed his breath is a little stinky when you get up close, and some of his teeth are kind of blackish. Poor kitty. I hope he doesn't have any teeth pain. If he did he'd probably let me know a little, but he's pretty quiet and playful so I think he's okay. He doesn't seem to be in any pain.

This just in: I have found a job! I was watching Without a Trace (the reason why I wanted to get home by one) and the cleaners called me to let me know that they wanted me to come on board. That makes me so excited! I really wanted to work there because they have a relaxed atmosphere and no dress code, really, and it seems pretty fun. The people who work there are nice, too. So I finally have a job and I start on Monday. I'm so happy, the search is over! I have some applications out, and I had an interview at Bi-Mart, but they have a strict dress code and I would have to buy some pants, so if I can get by with just the cleaners then I will.

Mariners game is on now, I hope they will win it today. They've been doing really well, I'm so excited. I hope they can make it to the playoffs this year. I don't know that much about baseball still, although Ross is trying to teach me stuff, and I know some, I can follow the game on TV but not the radio. It's really interesting, especially how the game can turn around instantly. The games are really fun to watch, though, even if they lose they still play a really good game most of the time.


I don't know what I should do today, this is my last weekend not working so I want to spend it relaxing. I will try to do some sewing maybe since I have a lot of stuff to make, and I want to read some of my books. I have a lot of books piling up that I want to read, and more that I want to buy. I cleaned yesterday so I don't have to today, hooray, and I'm planning to go have dinner at Kiku-chan's since I'm alone and haven't eaten there in a long time. I just got paid so I have money for it. I feel kind of bad that Ross can't go too but he will eat out in Seattle, I am sure. So I will have a delicious dinner and then go shopping with Ross when he gets home tomorrow. I love going grocery shopping together, he is always really funny and I like planning out meals together and everything.

Kitty is so cute and adorable today. he slept on my bed all night and then when I woke up he cuddled with me until I got up, and then he sat in the bathroom while I took a shower, which he likes to do for some reason. I think he likes the sound of the water. Then he kept following me around and jumping up on me for petting whenever I stopped walking. I really don't want him to leave again since it seems like he doesn't get too much attention there. I'm going to try my hardest to keep him here. I just hope we don't get evicted, but it's not too likely that I will get caught, I think, since the people who lived here before us had two cats, for a longer time than we will be here, and they also know people who have cats. The only problem is that he likes windows, and he tries to get in the windows. I have closed the blinds by putting stuff on them, but he can still knock them down if he really wants to. So I'm lucky that management is a mile away on another property. There are maintenance people who come by during the day to do repairs and stuff, but not that often. Also the guys are pretty nice and I always say hi to them so maybe if they do catch kitty I can convince them not to tell. He's really quiet, so I hope it will work out okay. If we do get caught, I can always say that someone left him there for the night and I was going to move him in the morning, and I will probably just have to pay a fine. I hope it's okay. I really don't want to give him up again, I really need him to be here. He keeps me company and he's so cute.

Sometimes he bites me really hard though. I'll be petting him, and he'll be purring up a storm, and then all of a sudden he latches on to me and won't let go. He's not doing it to be mean, but he gets a little carried away. He ripped one of Ross's shirts that I was wearing the other day. It was so big on me that he just got the sleeve but he put a huge hole in the sleeve with his fangs. I'm glad he doesn't have claws because then I'd be a lot worse off. He just has back claws but he can do a good amount of damage with those, too.

I want to play a video game but I only have Magna Carta and Fatal Frame right now, and there's no way I'm playing Fatal Frame right now. I only play it when someone else is here and since Ross isn't even going to be home tonight, I'm going to wait. I could play Magna Carta, though, it's a lot of fun. The only problem with it is that I'm not too sure where I'm going all the time so I have to be careful or else I get hopelessly lost.

Time for the Mariners game!

Silhouette

Tonight Ross left for Seattle; he had to go to a meeting for his portfolio class. I hope he can meet a lot of prospective employees, I think he's really talented. Actually, everyone does. His designs are pretty sweet. Although I am happy that he's away pursuing his future, I'm pretty bored (and scared!) being home alone. I miss him a bunch already, we have lived together the whole year and a half we've been together, and we're rarely separate. So it's sad. I hope he's okay, too. He was having stomachache earlier and we had sex so that probably didn't make it any better!

I brought Copernicus home from the cat-sitter, so that he could keep me company. It's going pretty well so far, he's cuddling with me (and getting his tail in my ice cream), but I feel bad because I don't have any of his toys. He was chasing a sock a while ago and playing with a little bead bracelet, but he gets bored pretty easily. Now he is chilling on the back of the couch watching TV with me. We like crime dramas a lot. Last night he made me a little mad, though, right when he got home the first thing he did was pee on my bed. I can't blame him, though, he was stressed from moving and Jamie's kids were trying to play with him. They're pretty wild, though, I'd probably pee too if I had a ten-year-old girl leap on top of me. I forgave him, because he's usually super well-behaved, and I love him. He's really cute.



I had two job interviews this week. Yesterday and today, and I haven't heard anything yet. Why is it so hard to find a job here?! I've lived here for two months almost and I've had at least ten interviews and nothing yet, except a babysitting job here and there, which does not do much for paying the rent; it barely keeps me fed. I have a kitty to take care of, too, and he can get kind of expensive. So I need to find some work soon, but it's getting frustrating. I do like the break, though. I stay home and keep the house clean, cook dinner, ride my bike around on errands, library trips, small grocery shopping, and just for fun, and watch lots of Law and Order and Without a Trace reruns. I have lots of time to read, watch anime that I've been downloading like crazy, do sewing, and look around online for all the things I want that I can't buy! Sadness. Well, at least my dad is helping me with rent!

There are some really good shows that I've been watching lately. First of all, the shows that were on hold because of the Writer's Strike are coming back (finally!) and I've been looking forward to new episodes of Bones and House for ages. The only bad thing is that they aren't making up for lost time and are just going to air a few episodes and then be done with the season. That makes me sad; I feel somewhat cheated. However, I am happy that the writers will be treated better. I agreed with the strike in principle, I just missed watching my favorite shows. Also there are a lot of good animes airing lately, and some good old ones. I recently have been watching Chrno Crusade and Shakugan no Shana, which are both really interesting even though they are a bit old. I can't believe I didn't want to watch Shakugan no Shana when it began, but I'm glad I finally started it. Jim says Chrno Crusade is super depressing but after watching all of Key's stuff, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. Stupid Wikipedia for posting Clannad spoilers on the first page and ruining it for me. The best thing right now though, is a show that just started, Nijuu Mensou no Musume, or, The Daughter of Twenty Faces, which is about a famous thief who kidnaps (sort of) a girl who is poorly treated by her family and wants to run away (I guess it isn't really kidnapping since she goes with him willingly) and their merry exploits. It's really interesting and Hirano Aya voices Chiko, the main character, and so I am really excited about it. The first episode was awesome, and I have the second episode waiting on my computer.

I'm super poor, but I want new books to read so I am going through my Amazon wishlist trying to find things that are really cheap. I am annoyed because even if you buy books from the same person they don't combine shipping, even though it doesn't cost them anywhere near that to ship a few books! I don't mind getting used books, they're usually in really good condition. I wish the library here was better. I miss the giant library in Phoenix, of course it isn't to be expected that the library here would be as big, but they have none of the books I want to read. It's sad.

I hope Brian comes home soon. He's a bit frustrating sometimes, but he's nice and it would be nice to have someone else here. The people next door are coming and going and the loud noises of the door keeps making me jump. I worry that they're going to hear my cat, so it's good that he meows quietly and not often. We aren't allowed to have pets here, and I don't want to get evicted, that's why I have him living with a cat-sitter. But I really don't like him there, he came home begging to be petted and all over me and Marie, who likes him a lot too, and he is more affectionate than normal (he's always sweet though), so I worry that he isn't getting enough attention there. I hope he'll be okay. . I wish I could just keep him here, but Brian doesn't like him very much. I almost don't care, but I should be nice to my roommates. He's been friends with Ross for ages, and I like him okay, but his type of personality gets on my nerves a bit. I wish he would buy toilet paper, too! He is lazy and doesn't help with chores and doesn't buy things he should contribute. His girlfriend, Marie, who stays here with us sometimes, always picks up what he doesn't do, and I feel bad because she shouldn't have to. I really like her, she is one of my few friends here. Mostly it's just her and Jeannette.

I miss my friends from high school, I know it's only natural that people fall out of touch, and I did move really far away, but I know that they're all in college, halfway done, and I'm just here, not even in school yet, no job, et cetera. I have a good life but I feel that I'm not really contributing anything. I like to write and Ross says that I am really good at it, but I lack substantial enough ideas to write a complete story, and drive to finish a complete piece. Hopefully writing a blog will help me work on those skills. I have tons of blank journals (I collect all kinds of stationary), but I can't bring myself to write in any of them. I like writing by hand, but if you do it online you can have a cool layout. Haha.

I suppose I should do something besides watch crime dramas all night. It's not my fault they marathon them! I wanted to do some sewing, but now I don't really feel like it. I have to be in just the right mood, even thought I really like doing it. Probably I'll do some reading, and keep looking online for new job posts. For now I am going to brush my teeth, since no job=no medical insurance=super cavities. Geh.