Creativity

I really wish I had a sewing machine. The one I bought a while back broke, or at least never worked very well, and I want a good one. I always want to sew things, but when I read historical fiction that has people making their own clothes, I want to make clothes even more, and I don't mind sewing things by hand, it's not very hard, but it does take a very long time and it's hard on my eyes, even with glasses, I usually get headaches. Also there are never any patterns for things I would like to make, so I have to make them up myself, and sometimes that works better than other times. I also want to learn embroidery again, my mom taught me some things when I was really young and I could probably do it if I tried, but maybe not. I wish more people did this kind of thing these days. It seems sad that everything is done by machines now, when it's so pretty when done by hand.

Multiplicity

I was just remembering today a lot of the stories I wrote years ago and wishing that I still had them. I think they were all on the old computer that my dad bought. They must have been since that was the only computer we had, until I got back from Japan and Uncle Paul got the Dell computer for me. Unfortunately, though, that was the computer that Jennifer and her boyfriend got a virus onto somehow, and everything was gone from the computer by the time I got back from Japan. I lost all my stories and some other stuff that I had on there, it wasn't too important but the stories were. I mean, since it was from a long time ago it wasn't that good, but some of it was school assignments that I would like to have kept, and there were all the stories that I wrote that I could get ideas from to rewrite now, but they're all gone. It's really sad. I hate it when stuff like that happens. Ross lost his flash drive that had some of his writing stuff on there so that's what made me remember, and I keep thinking of little bits of stories that I wrote and I wish that I still had them somewhere.

Intrinsic

I’ve never liked yellow moons because they are too low and too bright and not at all what I think the moon should be like. They look scary, sickly almost, and they’ve always kind of freaked me out.

Space is kind of scary to think about in general. Sometimes I think I would like to be an astronomer, and study space and try to find solutions to overcrowding by colonizing space and finding new technology and all sorts of things like that, but then I think about how big space is, and how much of so many different things are out there, and I get a little scared because there’s just too much. It’s like the future, almost, it’s so vast with so many possibilities and things you don’t know about, so that if you think about it for too long it unnerves you.

Velocity

Ross and I had lunch at Dairy Queen today and when we got home we discovered that our lunch had been about 1780 calories worth of deliciousness. So he took me to work to get my bike, I had to leave it there yesterday since it was raining and I was wearing a dry-clean-only sweater, and I rode it down to Hollywood Video and Blockbuster to see if there were any good movies (there weren't) and then went back home. It was a really nice ride, since it was raining a little off and on, and really dark and cloudy but still nice.

I have to send my acceptance letter back to Central with $55 check. I wish you didn't have to pay just to be accepted, because you have to give a crapload of money to them anyway for the next four years, so it seems kind of overkill. But I will do it, I pretty much have enough money right now anyway. I'm just happy to be going back to school.

I really like my new computer. It has some things about it that are a little bit annoying, but for the most part it's really nice. The keyboard is really cool, too. So I'm glad I got it even though I have to pay it back superfast. I'm working on it.

Motivation

I'm so depressed. I had carefully planned out all the things I needed to use my money for, but then it all disappeared. I have about $15 in my bank account to last me until next Wednesday! I really have to be more careful, I don't know what happened. I thought I had enough money for everything but I guess I underestimated my money, when I thought I was overestimating. I'm usually really careful and I always have money left over, but this time I don't know what happened. So from now on I'm going to make sure I keep much better track and make better planning lists and not spend any extra money without accounting for it. I should get a banking book to keep track of it, or just write it in a little notebook, I have enough of them.

It's sad, too, I wanted to get pizza for dinner, that's why I checked. Of course, if I hadn't I'd be in trouble. I really wanted pizza though. Brian made "spaghetti" which was bowtie noodles with sauce. It's not spaghetti. Spaghetti is long skinny noodles. I hate it when people call things the wrong name. Anyway, his sauce is gross, and I don't really like just noodles with sauce. So I made myself soup and cheese and crackers, and then I had a doughnut because Ross bought doughnuts today, and then he looked at my plate and said, "So, cheese and crackers for dinner?", like I turned my nose up at his food. Excuse me for eating my own food in my own house. And he made a big deal about making dinner since we (I) make enough dinner for everyone most of the time. I don't think it's polite to only make dinner for two people if there's going to be enough for three, and just tell him he can't have any. That's rude. I spend a good amount of money on all the groceries, though, so don't just buy some crap sauce and think it makes up for that. And don't make a huge fucking mess on the stove I just cleaned and then get all affronted when I ask you to wipe it up. I mean, honestly.

So I'm really excited for when we move out. Except Ross didn't get the internship in Oregon, and I'm sad about that, even though I didn't want him to be so far away, but he wanted to get it and I wanted him to get it. He doesn't know what he's going to do and I don't want him to feel bad or in trouble about not finding an internship or anything. I worry about it because he can't even graduate unless he finds one. That would be really sad if they didn't let him graduate after he did all the work, just because of a dumb internship. Especially because it's partially the fault of the graphic design program's being poorly structured that he's having trouble.

I have to write a letter to Mrs Okada about going straight into third-year Japanese, I was looking through the textbooks again and they both look pretty easy, but second year looks especially easy. So I definitely want to start at third year. I really hope I can go to school because even with doing more writing and sewing I am very bored. Work is okay, but it's not school. I need something to stimulate my mind. I've been reading tons of books but that isn't enough, in fact it only makes it worse if there are students in the books.

I am starting my new work schedule tomorrow. Thursday and Friday I'm going in from 11 until closing, 5:30, but after that I will be doing 11:30 to 5:30 for the forseeable future, and then I don't know what. So, I have to start going to bed earlier.

Mistaken

I realized that I actually missed some pretty important stuff at the end of what I thought were filler episodes. So I downloaded Bones and House, watched the last five minutes of each, and freaked out. Then I found the previews on Youtube and I take back what I said before, the writers really know how to turn the show around. I hope that Booth doesn't die, but I'm sure he doesn't because if he did there wouldn't be a Season Four, because Bones needs Booth, and also, they would all be mourning in the season final, and it doesn't look like that. Also, main characters usually don't die.

Rebellion

I stopped watching both Bones and House, my two favorite TV shows and the only ones I watch regularly, really at all, tonight because I was bored. I love those shows, and I used to really enjoy watching them, but lately the episodes are boring, strained almost, and they are funny, still (House was especially good last week) but at the same time they're not as captivating as they used to be, they're hardly even interesting at all. Bones, with a few exceptions (like last week's episode) is a lot of silly cases that don't have strong characters or plotlines that keep you watching, and House is just innuendo and over-the-top scenarios that are pretty boring.

I'm getting tired of TV. I know Bones is going to continue the Gormagon storyline, but I think only in the last episode of the season. I don't know what they're going to do on House but hopefully it gets more interesting. I have tons of books to read, writing that I've been looking at/working on (mostly waiting for my new computer) and other things to do, but sometimes it's nice to watch TV so hopefully they don't fail me now.

Redundance

Without asking, or even telling us, Brian brought home a giant entertainment center from his parents' house. It isn't going to fit in our living room, at least not without a LOT of moving things around that Ross and I don't have time for, and that one person can't do alone, and the displacement of stuff that there is just no other place for. So I'm pretty annoyed because it's super rude to do something like that without consulting the other people you live with. I got even madder because he just stood around when he saw that it wouldn't fit and said, "haha I guess it is kind of big, I guess I shouldn't have just said yes without thinking". You think?

Maybe I'm being too harsh, but we don't need an entertainment center, and there is already a ton of junk lying around this apartment that hasn't been put away, and we moved in March. There are tons of boxes that need to be broken down and taken out, and they are mostly his boxes. Ross and I have already done ours, the week after we moved in. Even if I did want to help him break them down, I can't drive them to a box dump, since we can't throw them in our trash, so I'm not much help there. I shouldn't have to help anyway, they aren't my boxes. They need to go. Also he leaves messes in places, doesn't do the dishes very often unless they've sat there for a while, and doesn't really take turns cleaning off the counter and sweeping. I've tried to drop hints politely, but there's really not too much else to do besides come out and say it. I don't want to start an argument or get him mad or anything, so I don't know.

So for now, I guess the entertainment center is just going to sit by the boxes until someone (not me) feels like moving it. Maybe I'll just start bringing home random crap and leaving it in the main area. No, I hate looking at clutter so I wouldn't do that.

In better things that happened today, I got a new computer. Actually, Ross got it for me from Newegg, using a Preferred Account which he signed up for. It has no interest for six months so I need to mostly pay it down by then. It was pretty cheap, only $740 and then I got a Microsoft Office 2007 for $129. I'm going to use it as my school/writing computer until this one dies, and this one for watching things and playing games. It's too bad though, that one has 200 GB hard drive so I could just throw everything on there, but I love this computer and I would miss it. It's still got plenty of life left (minus the battery which is going quick) and I like using it. The screen is really big and nice, too. I didn't really need need a new computer, but I wanted one that I could carry around easily for when I start school. This one is a little big, and it's been bumped into things a couple of times so I don't want to put undue stress on it by carting it around. This one is a little lighter and smaller so it'll be easier to take with me. Also, it's a VAIO. I've wanted one of those forever. It's white, too, I like that because I am sick of black computers. I like bright ones.

I got to see my kitty today, too, I rode my bike down to Shanelle's apartments, which was a feat since it was super windy and cold. Washington weather is dumb. I miss my 93 degree springs. Oh well. Anyway, kitty is good and happy and not fighting the other kitty, so yay.

Creativity

Megan said there should be a netlibrary, like Netflix for books. That's the most awesome thing I've heard in ages. I wonder why someone doesn't start that. They have Netflix and Gamefly, I would love to subscribe to a netlibrary. I don't know if it would be something that a lot of people would like to do, but definitely people who like to read and don't have money to buy a new book every week, or who live in an area without a library, or a big library. For the price of one new book each month, you could borrow so many books at a time, and just send them back when you finish them and get new ones. It would be really cool!

Apparently they do have something like that (looked online), it's called Book Swim. I wonder if it's any good. I'll have to look and see.

We are house-sitting for Ross's parents this weekend. It's nice and quiet here. I wish they had a pool, though, I really want to go swimming!

Worrisome

I have bad dreams a lot. I hate them, who wouldn't? I don't know how to make them stop, though. I try not to watch or read stuff that will scare me, I even stopped playing Fatal Frame, even though I didn't have any bad dreams while I was playing it. I have always just had them randomly, not necessarily after seeing or reading something scary. It's hard to clear them out of my mind, too. So maybe Tetris will help.

I got my tax rebate. Sadly, it was only three hundred dollars. I thought I would qualify for the six hundred dollar rebate, since I made so much money last year. But no, I did not. Oh, well, it's okay. I have to give 150 to Ross for the money I owe him (I owe him a lot of money). But then I think I will go shopping at Macy's with some of it. It will be nice to shop, I haven't in a while.

Exacerbation

Central is giving me all kinds of problems with my school applications. First I have the wrong tax form, then I filled it out wrong, then after they told me to have my mom mail in one copy with her information, and me turn in one with my information, they sent back my mom's because it wasn't filled out completely. I'm not going to give up this year because of their stupidity, though. I really want to go to school, especially since I didn't even get to finish this year. That was my fault, mostly, but still. I miss school.

Ellensburg is really nice, too, even if I can't have my cat here. I had to take him back to Shanelle's yesterday, since Ross and Brian don't want to get evicted. Mostly Brian, Ross wasn't too bad about constantly asking me when he was going back. I don't want to get kicked out either, but he's my cat and when we moved in I said I was keeping him. I miss him a lot. I'll get to see him every week, but still. Sadness.

The rent money from my dad finally got here, so yay, I can pay Ross back. I'll be able to pay my own rent for June and July, at least. It works out nicely because I get paid on the 5th and the 20th, and Ross has it set up to pay the rent with his credit card, so I just pay him back later in the day after I get my check in the bank. After he finds his internship I'm probably going to just rent a room with someone who already has a house that allows pets. I just want one year at Central, after all this fighting to go there, but I don't want to be away from him for too long, either.

I was looking at my Amazon wishlist today and it made me sad. There are a lot of books I want, but I haven't been buying books for a long time, so I think I should start getting some when I have a little more money. I love books. My list is bigger than ever, too. I keep adding things I just want to read, not necessarily buy, but since the library here isn't that great I have to read things somehow.

Cascade

Today was a good day, but I think I got sick from a strawberry smoothie from Arby's. It was really good, if a little sweet, but I think it was too thick. Ross was really nice and brought it for me, but he got stuck in traffic. I felt really bad to take him away from his work. Then of course I had pizza for dinner so hopefully that won't make me more sick. I feel better though. Yummy pizza is yummy.

Tomorrow I have to work at Model KE from 9-12, and then I kiosk at Fred Meyer from 12:30 to 2:30. I really don't want to kiosk anymore, because it's boring, but at the same time I like it because if I can get people to subscribe it's really good, really easy money, but if I just stand there for two hours and no one subscribes, it's a waste of time. So we'll see what tomorrow is like.

I'm watching Law and Order now. I haven't watched TV all week, except Bones and House on Monday. I used to watch Without a Trace and Law and Order during the day, when I didn't have a job, and although it is better to be doing something productive than watching TV all day, I really miss watching Without a Trace.

Interval - When Blogger wouldn't let me post

The Blogger people think I have a spam blog, so I can’t write properly until they review it. I don’t know why it would seem like a spam blog, I don’t have any links or nonsensical content, I write in proper sentences, and maybe I ramble a little, but not too much. Geh.

Ross came back today and it was fun. He seems to have had a good time on his trip, he showed his portfolio and his resume. I hope he can get a good job at one of the firms he wants to work at, like Dark Horse. I think he’s really talented and would do a good job there, but I think he should look into advertising firms, too, for sure, because he does really awesome ads that look real. He’s super talented. I’ll be sad if he finds a good place that is far away though, because then I won’t get to see him very often. When the lease on the apartment is up, in July, I can move, but not until then.

I’m definitely going to move out in July. I really like the apartment, and the rent is pretty cheap, but they don’t allow pets and it’s risky to keep a cat if we are in danger of getting caught and definitely fined, possibly evicted. I would feel bad if that happened, but I really like my cat and I’m going to keep him as long as I can. I just hope I can find a good place to live that allows pets and doesn’t charge too much. I’m going to have to work a lot and save up my money for moving later in a few months and for paying the pet deposit. If I’m on my own I can easily rent a room with one of the many college students around here, since I’ll be a college student too. As long as they’re quiet and the room is pretty big, I’ll be fine. Most houses allow pets so that would be a good idea.

Tonight we went to Red Robin for Jim’s birthday party. It was pretty fun, I never used to like going out to places with big groups but Ross’s friends (my friends too, now) are funny and not intimidating so it’s okay to hang out with them. I don’t like being around a lot of people for a long time though, even though I should be used to it by now. I’d rather just read or something, most of the time. It was fun tonight, though, except for when Ross took my ID card and hid it and then passed it around the table and everyone knew where it was except me! Sadness. I finally got it back, though, and now it is safe in my wallet.

Jeannette gave me a corsage that she made at her work, it’s super pretty. It’s one of the yellow carnations with a pink bleed, I really like the two-colored carnations. When I get married I want to have some of them in my bouquet/flower wreath. I don’t like veils so I am just going to have a flower wreath tiara. I want to have stargazer lilies, irises, and the pretty carnations for flowers. I don’t really like any small flowers, except cherry blossoms, but you can’t really pick those, so I’ll just have to use smaller ones for the wreath. I’m kind of strange in that I don’t want a big wedding, just a tiny ceremony in the courthouse with the minimum required number of witnesses, and then a big party all dressed up. I want to get dressed up and have the reception and throw the bouquet and everything, but I don’t like the idea of having the actual wedding ceremony in front of a bunch of people. Talking in front of people is hard for me anyway, but saying private stuff, there’s no way. Besides it’s more expensive, and I want a little, quiet wedding. Ross and I were talking about it earlier, also what we want to do for the honeymoon. I sort of forced him into talking about it, I like to talk about stuff like that sometimes but he just goes along with it.

I’m looking at Penny Arcade comics. We were talking about our favorite ones at dinner and I couldn’t remember all the funny ones I liked, so I’m going back and looking at some of the old ones. Unfortunately they don’t really want to load so I just gave up on looking at them. Hopefully the non-loading isn’t permanent.

Brian is playing a Dragon Ball Z game for the Wii, and he’s just started to complain about the controls. Every time he plays the Wii, usually Smash Brothers Brawl, he always complains about how he can’t do the controls, and it gets kind of annoying to hear over and over. I’m the most hand-eye-coordination-challenged person out of everyone I know, and I can do it okay. I don’t know if no one else is annoyed by his attitude, or they just don’t say anything, but it bothers me a little.

Everyone’s just kind of doing their own thing now. I have an interview at the Super 1 Foods tomorrow, at 10:00 and even if we left right now we wouldn’t get home until almost 1:00. I have to get up at 9:00, so I’m going to see if Ross wants to leave. I’m not too tired, but I will be in the morning. Of course I’m not doing anything else on Sunday so I probably will just go back home and go to bed.

Tomorrow I have to call Shanelle, too, and tell her not to come get Copernicus. Although she will probably want her cat carrier back soon so I maybe will just let her come by and then give it to her. I don’t want to have Copernicus go anywhere because I missed him too much.

Allotment

Finally my Blogger account has been reactivated. They didn't even send me an e-mail to tell me I could post again, so it's a good thing I kept checking.

Rurutia's new mini-album came out yesterday and I was able to download it today. I'm really excited about it even though there are only two new songs on it. I'm kind of sad because it's been a long time since her last release, which was also a mini-album, but it had three new songs, at least, and then still it's just another mini-album. So hopefully she will release an album soon. I'm sure the songs will be really good, though, they always are. I can't listen right now though because Brian is watching Blade, which is loud and yucky. I don't like vampires. But I always watch TV so I don't mind if he is watching something.

My job is going really well. It's easy, moderately fun, and low-key so I can wear anything I want to. Not short shorts or revealing clothes, but that's okay because I don't wear stuff like that anyway, but I'm happy that I can wear all the clothes I like that I haven't been able to wear for my other jobs. Also I get a lot of hours, almost 25 a week, so I will make pretty good money. Things are going super well so I'm happy.

Ross is looking for an internship, he might have to go far away. It's really sad, when he went on vacation last year with his mom and Jarrett, I missed him so much, and that was only for two weeks. So when he's gone for ten weeks, that will really suck. I'm hoping he can get one kind of close so I can see him on the weekends, but he has to go where he finds something. So I hope he can get a good internship that he really wants to have. I hope I will be okay at night, I'm not too good with staying alone at night.

Tax rebate time is coming up, I hope I will get the $600 rebate. I need to pay Ross back for all the money he's loaned me to help me out when I didn't have a job. It's all on his credit card, but I feel bad that I owe him so much money. I will be able to start paying him back pretty soon, though. I just feel bad, almost like he's secretly mad at me.

I made Creamy Broccoli flavor of Tuna Helper for dinner, and it tasted good but it feels kind of yucky in my stomach right now. I think it was too creamy. I don't really like it that much but there wasn't that much else to eat. I have been picky lately but at the same time less picky. Mostly I'm just worried about eating unhealthy stuff but since I am riding my bike all the time that doesn't worry me too much anymore, since I sleep so late that I don't eat breakfast. So I can have the occasional milkshake and/or hamburger and fries.

I think I want some ice cream. I have some in the freezer. Slow-Churned Light Raspberry Dark Chocolate Chunk, Haagen-Daaz lemon sorbet, fudge bars, fruit popsicle bars, banana-fudge ice cream bars, and then Ross's Klondike ice-cream sandwiches. Haha. I love ice cream. Maybe I will get some later when my stomach feels better.